It's all in the hands of the gods.

Three weeks from now I will have completed my first full marathon. Hopefully I will have done it in under 3 hours. I've had some workouts in the last few weeks that have let me know the fitness is there; they were also great confidence boosters as well: a 16 mile long run with the last 13 miles at race pace (6:50s), a 22 mile long run with the last 6 miles at race pace, and 10x800 on the track in 2:50 with one lap easy jog active recovery. I've prepared as well as I can, now it's, "all in the hands of the gods," as they say.

In 11 days I'll no longer have a cell phone. In 24 days I'll be on a plane to Europe. In high school I would never have imagined what twists and turns my life would take up to this point. What wonderful surprises they have been. I made it through college, somehow became a bass player, made some of the best friends in the world and then spent years making music and touring with them. I've been just getting by, but I've never felt poor. I became an endurance athlete - first a runner and then a triathlete. I've never had a "real" job. I look back on all of these things and smile. Now I'm moving to Budapest with one of my best friends. I can only shake my head and wonder what the future will bring. Although this isn't the path that most people take, I feel like I'm doing it right.

T-36 days to liftoff.

With this one way plane ticket in my hand, I know there's no turning back. I'm starting to count down the days. I stare at empty bookshelves and for the first time I feel the weight of leaving, and of what I'm leaving behind. I'm finding it harder and harder to fall asleep. I'm having dreams of airplanes crashing in reverse. The plane flies tail first out of a fiery explosion, like a phoenix. It takes me through the clouds into the clear, blue sky. I always wake up before it sets me safely down back home. I'm starting to look at the city and imagine how it will look in the future. I'm starting to see things as "staying" or "going." I'm starting to count down the days. I've started missing my friends while I'm hanging out with them. I pay more attention to their details, as if I'm storing them up - saving them to get me through a long winter. Every time I've ever seen the ocean it looks like it goes on forever, but I'll bridge that horizon and forever will end on another continent. I've stopped buying things I can't take with me. I'm missing you already. I'm starting to count down the days.

In case you missed it.

I don't know how many people read my blog who don't read my facebook, but in case you missed it I quit the band. There's really no good way to explain why, so the short version is that it just became more stress than fun.

Also, I'm moving to Budapest, Hungary with Johnmark. Best idea ever? We'll see.