T-36 days to liftoff.

With this one way plane ticket in my hand, I know there's no turning back. I'm starting to count down the days. I stare at empty bookshelves and for the first time I feel the weight of leaving, and of what I'm leaving behind. I'm finding it harder and harder to fall asleep. I'm having dreams of airplanes crashing in reverse. The plane flies tail first out of a fiery explosion, like a phoenix. It takes me through the clouds into the clear, blue sky. I always wake up before it sets me safely down back home. I'm starting to look at the city and imagine how it will look in the future. I'm starting to see things as "staying" or "going." I'm starting to count down the days. I've started missing my friends while I'm hanging out with them. I pay more attention to their details, as if I'm storing them up - saving them to get me through a long winter. Every time I've ever seen the ocean it looks like it goes on forever, but I'll bridge that horizon and forever will end on another continent. I've stopped buying things I can't take with me. I'm missing you already. I'm starting to count down the days.