Yesterday JM and I went to the Király Baths. Here's a little history first: Hungary sits on one of the largest resources of geothermal water in the world. Of the approximately 1300 thermal springs registered in Hungary, about 300 are used for "bathing" purposes and about 130 of those are located in Budapest. The Turkish ruler of Buda started building the Király Baths in 1565 (which was finished in 1570), just inside what was then the Castle gates. He wanted to make sure that, in the event of an invasion, the Turks could still bathe. Some of these baths were only for men as recently as 2007, and even now there are only certain days when women are allowed to go.
OK, so here's the story: JM and I decide to have a little relaxation before our trip to Krakow (a little relaxation before our relaxation?). We went to the Király Baths, and as soon as you walk in you can smell the sulfur. We paid at the front desk and went upstairs. Once upstairs you walk into what is essentially a locker room that had sex with a dressing room. The man at the door hands you a "towel" that much more resembles a thick bed sheet in size and thickness, and, what I can only refer to as a "junk apron." This is essentially a thin white piece of cloth about the size of an unfolded napkin, with two very long strings attached at one end, which you use to tie it around your waist; it's a loincloth. Oh, and it's white, so it's pretty much useless as soon as it's wet. We were there on a mens only day, so the entire experience had a very locker room feel.
Anyway, you go into one of the dressing rooms and change into your loincloth. When you come out there is a guy with a bunch of keys. There is one key in the door, which you use to lock the door and then tie to your loincloth, and then he uses a key to lock the other lock to the door and your stuff is safe. We walk through the locker room, making sure to walk exactly side by side so we don't have to see each other's butts (we do still have to live together). We head down a couple flights of spiral stairs, and the entire time the smell of sulfur (from the water) gets stronger. Once at the bottom the air is so thick with it that it's like eating a sulfur/air sandwich. There are showers at the bottom of the stairs, which you must use before you get in the baths. You walk down a short hallway and it opens into a large domed room with a giant octagonal pool in the center.
We went in and sat on the second stair, which let the water come up to my neck. The dome of the room is dotted with small circular windows in a concentric circular pattern. There are a handful of other guys there, most of whom are older gentlemen, but a couple who looked about 40 and one other guy who looked to be in his late 20's. There wasn't much talking going on, and what we did hear was mostly in low voices. After just a short time in the main pool, I realized that the water wasn't really hot, but more like warm bathwater. JM went to test out the other two smaller square pools, located around the edge of the main pool. He dips a foot in the first one, turns around and shakes his head no. He goes to the other one and gets in.
When he returns he says that the first one is cold, and the other one is very hot. I venture over to the hot one. After 10 minutes I come back to the main pool which, in contrast, feels cool now. We sit for a little while longer before JM decides to check out the steam room. This is when stuff gets weird. While he is gone, two guys have gotten quite close. One is laying face-up with his neck on the edge of the pool, almost floating. This was the younger guy. The other guy was at a weird angle to him and I was pretty sure there was some inappropriate touching going on, however, none of the other guys seemed to notice.
Upon JM's return, my suspicions were confirmed. Not only did he say he thought the two guys I saw were up to something fishy, but he said there was some questionable stuff going on in the steam room. Of course, he said the steam room was crazy and I had to check it out. We go in the steam room and it's amazing. I've never been in one before, but it's just oppressively hot and humid. After being in there for about 5 minutes I came to the realization that the water dripping off of my body wasn't because I was just in the pool, but it was because I was sweating profusely. We're in there for maybe 10 minutes before we leave again.
When we come back out, the main room has become a fondle-fest. The two guys from before have moved to the other side of the pool and one is unabashedly fondling the other one. There is a group of three older men, two sitting against the side facing the middle of the pool, the other standing between them facing the edge of the pool; he's fondling both of them at the same time. When one of them leaves, another guy floats up to the other two and starts very gently stroking the face of one of the men, while positioning himself for some of the action. I'm sure I was wide-eyed, because I wasn't expecting this. Sure, I had steeled myself against seeing old, flabby men in nothing but a loincloth. I had also steeled myself against the guy doing a weird naked spa workout, and sure enough, there was one. I had not, however, expected blatant sex acts in the middle of a public bath. There were only a couple of other guys in there who seemed to be caught off guard as well. We decide to call it a day.
That was by far the craziest thing that has happened in Budapest. While searching for the information in the first paragraph, I found many reviews of the baths, most of which had something or other about the Király Baths being "the gay one." Now you know. In two hours we leave for Krakow to explore a new city for a few days and meet up with some random internet people. I'll be back in a few days with my blog on the trip.
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